still here
Becca Gilman • June 17th, 2009Barely. I tried calling Mom two days ago but there was no answer and she hasn’t called me back. I’m still not over Grant’s passing; my personal tipping point and I hate myself for referring to Grant that way, but it’s true. I haven’t left my apartment in over a week. The local market I use for grocery delivery stopped answering tsheir phone yesterday. I’ve only seen three cabs today. They’re old and dinged up, from some independent cab company I don’t recognize, and they just drive around City Line, circling, like they’re stuck in some loop, like the drivers don’t know what else to do. At night I count how many windows I can see with the lights on. The city was darker last night than it was last week, or the week before. The city is falling apart. It’s slow and subtle, but you can see it if you look hard enough. Watch. Everything is slowing down. A wind up toy running down and with no one to wind it up. Everything is dying but not quite dead yet, so people just go about their days as if nothing is wrong and nothing bad can happen tomorrow.
I’ve had a headache for a week now, my neck hurts, and I’ve been really sensitive to light. I’m scared, but not terrified anymore. Mostly, I’m just incredibly sad.
June 15, 2009 at 9:32 am
I just tried calling and left a message. I am going to stop by your place today. Please answer your buzzer.
June 15, 2009 at 1:12 pm
I’m not surprised that you’re experiencing headaches and the like. You’re so obsessed with the textbook symptoms, you’re now psychosomatically experiencing them. I am surprised it has taken this long. I had February 2009 in the pool. Get help. Psychiatric help.
June 28, 2009 at 4:33 am
i live in new york city to last weak i saw this guy drop dead in the street he pressed a button at the traffic light on the corner and then died there was no one else around just me he wasnt old probably younger than me he died and then i saw whats really happning to everyone cause two demons fell out of the sky and landed next to him maybe they were the gargoiles from the buildings i dont know but they were big strong gray with muscles and wings and large teeth the sidewalk broke under their heavyness they growled like tigers and licked up the blood that came out of the guys ears and mouth but that wasn’t good enough they broke his chest open and there was red everywere on the sidewalk and street corner i didnt know there was so much blood in us but they know they took off his arms and legs then gather him up in their big strong arms and flew away he was gone i went back and checked the next day he was gone after i walked around the city i saw the demons every were but noone saw them but me they fly and climb the buildings waiting for us to die and take us just like you i am afraid and stay in my apartment but don’t look out my window any more
July 5, 2009 at 12:12 am
Maybe you’re “fuck heaven” comments from you’re earlier post caught up to you, and you’re fear mongering and lies have finally caught up with you. GOD punishes the wicked.
July 5, 2009 at 2:45 pm
I like beast. I want to party with you, dude! Hey, revelations, stick to book burning and refuting evolution.
July 12, 2009 at 10:09 am
I can sum it all up in three words: Evolution is a lie.