P.J.’s called Peej, an me an he wuz blood brothas from the first time I took Pop’s buck knife out scoutin for Talabands in them hills tween our road an the base. I thought that wuz close’s friends could get, me an Peej fightin an fishin an scoutin an all, but that wuz fore I met my otha friend. Can’t feel blood, cept when it’s leavin, an him I felt the whole time he wuz in me, so mebbe that’s the diffrance.

I took’um inta me an there he hid like the blacksnake unda the porch. His name wuz like blindin starfire, an my tongue couldn’t wrap round it no more than it could say what exact he lookt like when I found’um out there in ol Tyler’s fields hangin out his meatyor, cept he wuz small an oily an slipt in with hardly any hurt. His name, tho, wuz too big ta rattle loose a my skull, I figger, dry an hot an there it stayed, even afta he got skert out by the Minister.

Wuz Pop’s fault. We’d been runnin through the fields naked again, cuz that’s what terrist scouts do an that’s what he wuz, tho he left out the -ist an just said terra scout. I’ll allow, bein a terra scout sounded cool, too, but I seen on the tv Talabands an what has you’s callt terrists. Twernt the only weirdness he put me ta, but more spicuous, I gatha now, than the patterns he’d have me do up on the hilltops outa stones an rebar an such. I’m gone the day in the hills that’s me same as always, but put me the jaybird in the field doin them dances an eatin dirt an tryin to call out them words what wouldn’t fit out my mouth, well, that’s a diffrant sack a shit right there.

So the Minister put me unda the water down the crick an there in them cold waters he come hangin out my mouth like them smalla, quiet worms that hung out the otha end when I was young an my granny made me hunker o’er a pail fulla sour milk. Gone he went in the current, an all the bawlin I did down there an when the Minister pullt me up didn’t do nuthin ta bring’um back. Pop wuz happy, an the Minister wuz too, but I felt like I’d had my heart cut out, an my pecker beside. On that count even the ol weasel failt as a diversion from my sorrows, cuz without’um puttin them nasty-good sights a weird from Up There inta my eyes I wuz left with Pop’s stuck-togetha libary in the shitter, an crusty ol pornies didn’t exactly thrill afta what he’d showt me.

I did have anotha friend, as I toll, one from fore he come an went, an his name I could say proper. Peej an me wuz blood brothas, as I toll, an while we’d fallen out somewhat on account a my midnight nakedity an hollerin an talkin bout Up There an my-new-friend-what-lived-behind-my-face–an-Did-He-Wanna-See, once the Minister took’um out a me Peej wuz right there ta go fishin an scoutin an fightin again once Pop quit his bellyachin an let me out the house. So once we wuz done fightin just o’er the ridge from the house we went scoutin, an once we counted coo on all them Talabands we went down the crick.

I’d been itchin ta get down there, an once we wuz on the bank I started in with tellin Peej all bout my friend an how the Minister did’um wrong. Peej got sore again, sayin we’d settled that with the earlier scrap, but fore I could get to the good stuff bout army planes blowin up an tanks afire an soldiers shootin they selves an each otha an gettin all mushy like ol punkins an Talabands an us alike all doin the ants-in-the-pants-dance as we cookt up like turkeys in a fryer but the fryer was the air round us stead a hot oil in a pot, fore I could get to That, well, Peej got a bite, an with his cane bent down near ta breakin we knew it wuz a big sumbitch.

An in he swum, holdin the hook aside so’s not to snag hisself, an I shout the hollalooya but fore I could say it twice an fore Peej could finish the piss wuz wettin his drawers my friend, My gotdamn friend gotdamn it, jumpt out the crick an wrigglet in Peej’s mouth. Peej set off like his ass wuz on fire an his head wuz catchin but come back soon enuff, smilin all wrong an tellin me How It Wuz, an how Twernt Like That. For My Own Good. Horseshit, I told’um, an home I went, bawlin twice’s hard as the last time I made that walk.

Thing’s diffrant afta that. Not long a’tall til Peej was out there blatherin naked in the dark an I heard’um clear o’er at our farm when the wind weren’t fierce. His pop come ta drink High Life with my Pop one night an try an figger out what ta do with’um on account a the Minister bein gone on Got business somewhere, but fore they could get more’n a six in’um it started. Heard someone say Fourth a July on New Year’s when I wuz a kid, an that’s surely what it lookt like—color lines in the sky like them tracer bullets Peej an me’d seen on the tv that we’d pretend we was shootin Talabands with, color lines like fallin stars only more’n I could count, an bigga, an fallin like a real star fallin down on us steada fallin across the night like fallin stars is usually want.

Pop an Peej’s pop were out in the yard lookin up all skert but I knew cuz he’d showt me, an out I lit for Peej’s. It felt good, runnin that road without shoes an starfire blazin down an a smell all about like wildflowers but burnin, it felt like it had when he wuz still in me an we’d go lopin up in them hills. An jus as I think that a mess a them fallin stars fell smack on them very hills, an I felt the road buckin undaneath ma feet an went flyin. I lay real quiet in the wet grass then, the night all lit up like day or one a his sights he’d showt me where there weren’t no sun or moon but I could see clear enuff, see colors there ain’t words for an I knew what wuz comin an I got so sad I couldn’t bear it, cuz I knew they weren’t there no more.

An they wasn’t. Peej’s house wuz empty, his jamas buncht up in the dirt next ta they mailbox. So I head for the hills next, but by the time I wuz halfway there I seen the headlights an did as we always done an hooft it away inta the darker parts of the fields but they followed an Pop jumpt out an run me down on account a the beer he drunk given’um the speed a ol Tyler’s one-eyed bull what gored that fat hippie was shroomin way back when. So Pop got me an tanned the everlivin shit out a me, an shoved me in the cab tween him an Peej’s pop, an back we went, they talkin the whole time bout how It’s Come To Pass an Targetin The Army Base O’er The Hill an Prolly Biologic Or We’d Seen A Splosion.

So I figger bout this time Fuck That Bastard, an Fuck The Both A Them, so I tell Pop an Peej’s pop bout the Up There Plan an all, an damn if I don’t get my lip split an lockt up in my room again for the trouble. Pop ventually drank hisself out an Peej’s pop went off somewheres, so I sat in the dark an watched the colors come down through a crack in the boards Pop had put o’er the winda an bawled a little til I fell sleep. Next aftanoon Pop lemme out to use the shitter an eat breakfast, but he’d boarded up the door from the inside an put some tape o’er the windowsills an had his guns out on the table an was lookin at me mean, like he hoped I’d giv’um cause to jus shoot the both a us. I got my toast an set down to watch the enda the world but the tv was out.

Radio workt for a few day, tho there weren’t no Mr. Art Bell and twernt no Mr. Mojo Nixon, neither, but there wuz pop’s favorite radio minister, an that radio minister said it were happenin all o’er, tribulations an such, Washinton an New York an England an Paris an even ol Red China up to the gills in’um. Took’um a long ass time ta get ta us even with the Army right o’er the hills, but I figger we’s far enuff out in East Jesus they had plenty ta deal with in the towns round us. Sooner or later, Pop said, but I could a toll him that.

An I wuz right, cuz soldiers from the base come drivin up in one a them convoys one mornin, an I come out the livin room ta Pop shoutin at’um through the door. My Cold Dead Hand, he shouts, an from the winda we seen a soldier holdin what had ta be a flamethrower come walkin up the porch. Pop looks at’um an looks at me an licks his lips an shouts Now Hold On A Gotdamn Second, Lemme Get These Boards Off, an off they come an out we go. Peej’s pop’s with’um all trusst up in the back, an the Minister back from his Got business, an everyone else on our road sides that. Ol Tyler lookt near to dead an the rest weren’t lookin cherry wine, neither.

They lined us up right there, prolly cause there weren’t no more houses down the road, an everyone got they hands tied behind’um an is put on they knees an I think someone’s mom or wife’s cryin but I look round an see it’s my own Pop. I told’um it’d be alright, an when I seen’um bring out a big ol bucket I knew I weren’t no liar an started in with my hollalooyas. Ol Tyler went first but the rest seen what happent when it snuck inside’um an they all went blood simple, thrashin an fightin an screamin an the Minster rollt away an come up runnin an got a few feet fore that soldier turnt his flamethrower on’um, so I got to see one person runnin round afire afta all. Twernt as excitin as I’d thought it’d be, an didn’t smell too good, neither.

Peej’s pop got a big mean pink lookin sumbitch what stuck halfway in an needed helpin by a soldier, but Pop’s didn’t lose a whisker gettin in’um. He turnt an smilet as they cut’um loose with the rest, all stretchin they backs an smilin ta each otha like they’d had a few High Lifes. An they come to me an I still ain’t quit with my hollalooyas an I open my mouth wide as it’ll go an up comes the bucket an—

They all stopt. Took me a minute to hear’um even tho he’s right there on top a me, comin out from the truck cab we’s lined up in front a. An they’s all listenin to’um, soldiers an neighbors an all, like he wuz a minister or a Navy Seal or somethin. Peej.

They’d seen betta days, my friends. Peej’s still naked so I could see his skin had turnt mostly black an wuz all thin an greazy like my friend’s wuz when I scoopt’um outa his meatyor all them weeks back, fore he come inside me. Peej’s arm wuz gone, I can never keep right from left so I can’t say whichun but whatever, his arm was straight gone to the angels, as the Minister’d say fore they lit his ass on fire, an Peej’s head wuz swoll up so bad I could see my otha friend undaneath, bulgin out like a nightcrawla jus unda a cowpie’s topside.

Peej said somethin else an whateva it wuz it hurt my ears somethin awful but the rest set to packin up like it wuz real words an not headache sounds. Couple a them soldiers took some crates out the back a the truck an hauled’um up to the porch but then I gather Peej called’um off with anotha sound, an they all got back in they trucks. They wuz all blacked up an nasty lookin too, them soldiers.

You Won’t Take Me, I says, an Peej shook his head, or mebbe my otha friend shook Peej’s head. Even afta havin’um inside me I wuz never straight on how it all workt.

An You Won’t Give Me One A Your Friends? I put to’um, and Peej shook his head again.

I bit my lip so I wouldn’t bawl but my words come out all hoarse an crackly, like the radio minister when he got real mad. Why’d You Leave? I Know That Burnt Up Minister Couldn’t A Made You Go, So Why? Why’d You Go In Peej Stead A Me?

Peej held out his hand, the only one he had left, an gave it a little shake. His thumb come off an landed in the road tween us, an his pinky come loose an hung onta his hand like a worm half-torn on a fishin hook, only there weren’t no hook. He stunk worse’n the burnt up minister, an smilet at me. Last time I seen’um clear, cuz I started bawlin a little then even if I got a few more words out, somethin I had to know.

You Do For Them Talabands Like You Did For Us? Peej nodded, an I knew my time wuz up. So I stept back a little to give’um room to turn they trucks round, an bawlin or not I gave Peej an my otha friend a salute. They gave it right back. Then they got back inta the truck an pullt out but I was cryin too much to see if Peej waved or not.

Quieter than I thought’d be, afta that. I crackt open them crates the soldiers left an they’s full a soldier food, rations like Peej an me’d pretend to eat when we wuz scoutin on the Talabands. Nice a them, since the power’s out so everythin’s spoilt. Dunno what they up to, if they’s here to stay or gone back Up, but as I said, it’s all real quiet now out here, quieter than them ministers said it’d be. Settin up late in my empty house I don’t really miss Pop so much, but I do dwell on my otha friend takin Peej. Peej an me wuz blood brothas, as I said, an my Up There friend took’um from me. I miss Peej somethin fierce. Truth be toll, I miss’um both.