AI
When a voice-over, in the third act, tells you 2000 years have past,
it actually feels like it in this hodge-podge mess that was so disappointing it makes me angry to think how many people will see it because it's from "Spielberg."
Alien Vs. Predator
Writer/Director (2002, Resident Evil) Paul W. S. Anderson stays true to the AVP roots with this long-awaited showdown between two of screen legend's coolest bad guys. And the Aliens and the Predators couldn't have looked better, moving and acting in ways never before seen in any of the other films. After Charles "Bishop" Weyland's (Lance Henriksen) corporation discovers an ancient pyramid under the ice of Antarctica, he gathers a group of experts for an expedition into the pyramid where they awaken a nest of Aliens. It seems the Predators have been using this pyramid for centuries as a training ground for young Predator warriors to hunt aliens spawned from human hosts. Bishop's expedition supplies the hosts, so let the battle begin. And what a fight. The first hand-to-hand encounter between a Predator and an Alien is alone worth the price of a ticket. I sat with an uncontrolled grin during the entire sequence and then burst into applause with the rest of my audience at its conclusion. With some people in the audience rooting for the Aliens and an equal number rooting for the Predators it was as if we actually had a stake in the outcome. Explorer Alexa Woods (Sanaa Lathan) plays the female lead and shows herself equal to her Ripley predecessor. But the real stars are the Predators (who actually have roles this time around), and the Aliens with a new, bigger, even more incredible queen. Since we've seen most of this before (like face-huggers coming from eggs), it's the "how they do it" that counts, and this film will knock you off your feet with shots like face-huggers flying at their hosts in slow motion. I won't give any more away, but if you (like me) were wondering if AVP was worth the wait—it was! I'm going to see it again.
Alien vs. Predator: Requiem
Moving from a long list of films as visual effects supervisors and designers, the Brothers Strause take on this next film in the Aliens vs. Predator series as directors, and except for too many shots in the dark, they definitely do justice to the franchise. Requiem starts where the previous AvP left off—with the alien chest-burster emerging from the chest of the dead Predator aboard his homeward-bound spaceship. Fans who know their alien lore, know that the emerging alien takes on characteristics of its host, so after growing very quickly, this Predator-Alien hybrid decimates the crew of the ship causing it to crash on earth near a small American town. A distress call, however, does make it to the Predator Home World in time to dispatch a lone Predator to clean up the mess. And what a mess it is. Before too long the aliens overrun the town like cockroaches in a kitchen leading to a battle between Aliens and the lone Predator, with humans (lead by Steven Pasquale, Reiko Aylesworth, and John Ortiz) in the middle. Before Requiem, 1986’s Aliens was my favorite film in the series, but now I’ll have to add Requiem as a close tie. This film is action-packed from beginning to end. It also manages to give us even more insight into the worlds of the Predator and the Aliens by showing us things about each not shown in any of the other movies. If you thought Aliens were bad, you ain’t seen anything yet. These creatures don’t even hesitate to use a maternity ward for nests as they infest the local hospital. In fact, there are other scenes involving children that actually startled me. It’s been a while since I came out of film unable to stop talking about it and planning a return trip to the theater so I could see the things I probably missed the first time, but that’s the kind of film Requiem is. If you’ve seen the other Alien or Predator films, you owe it to yourself to see this one. If you haven’t seen any, this might be the time to start.
Alone in the Dark
There are "bad" films and there are "terrible" films. With "bad" films you might get lucky and find something so bad it's amusing and actually fun to watch. But a "terrible" film has absolutely nothing going for it. Don't rent it. Don't even watch it on television. So you'd think Uwe Boll would have learned from his House of the Dead (2003) flop. Apparently not. After a narrator and opening crawl tell us of "an ancient civilization that opened the gates of hell and paid with their lives," we find Edward Camby (True Romance's Christian Slater), a former agent of the government's covert paranormal investigative Agency 713, haunted by childhood memories that he can't remember. Apparently (we know—he doesn't), a mad scientist stole twenty orphaned children for evil experiments, but one got away. You guessed who! Anyway, we are now in the present, I think, and there's a golden crate and monsters, and an Agency 713 swat team dressed like skaters, and . . . never mind. Imagine any excuse for a fire fight, scenes that don't connect and seem to have nothing to do with the story and any cliché you can come up with and "maybe" you can imagine this film. Also throw in the likes of Tara Reid (American Pie, Urban Legend) and Stephen Dorff (Blade, Fear Dot Com) who do absolutely nothing to help save this film except blurt out the most trite, clichéd lines imaginable. Maybe had they stuck with the computer game's Lovecraftian premise . . . What can I say, Uwe Boll makes terrible films.
An American Haunting
Courtney Solomon redeems himself as a director (after the disastrous 2000's Dungeons & Dragons) with An American Haunting, a smart, well-paced, good-looking and rather tense ghost story. In a house in modern-day suburbia, a mother finds a journal in her attic and reads how in 1818, the Bell family of Red River Tennessee began having problems after their father, John Bell (played by the wonderful Donald Sutherland), is found guilty of usury by the elders of the church when he takes advantage of a neighboring old woman (Gaye Brown as Kate Batts) in a land deal, after which Old Kate appears to curse the Bell family. First, John Bell finds himself haunted by a black wolf that appears and disappears. But the real trouble starts when his daughter, Betsy (very well-played by newcomer Rachel Hurd-Wood—Wendy Darling from 2003's Peter Pan), is visited by a poltergeist that torments her night and day as the family, including the mother, Lucy (played by a very sympathetic Sissy Spacek), looks on helplessly. An American Haunting starts quickly and never stops raising tension and questions as we wonder what or who is behind this family's torment. The period sets are simple but authentic-looking (production design by Humphrey Jaeger) as are the costumes designed by Jane Petries. The camera work (cinematography by Adrian Biddle) only adds to this high-quality production supported by a seasoned cast. Based on the Bell Witch Legend (book by Brent Monahan,) the film does make an effort to explain the strange goings on, and in the end does a good job tying the Bell family story to the present-day woman reading the journal. Overall, with the quality of the film and enough going on to separate it from other films covering the same topic, An American Haunting is worth a look.
American Psycho
Hysterical satire, but the abrupt ending didn't satisfy.
Amityville Horror (2005)
Newcomer director Andrew Douglas dredges up the ghosts of Amityville, New York for a retelling of the supposedly true story of a haunted house and its affect on a family that moves in. George (Blade Trinity's Ryan Reynolds) and Kathy (TV's Melissa George) Lutz get the deal of a lifetime when they purchase a large, previously owned home in Amityville. But George wants to know why the price is so low. After the Realtor explains that the previous family (The Defeo's) was slaughtered here, George replies, "Houses don't kill people, people kill people." So the family moves in and all hell breaks loose. George starts to change ala "The Shining," daughter Chelsea's (Chloe Moretz) new friend is a dead girl (Isabel Conner) with a bullet hole in her forehead, strange voices come through the heating vents . . . Yes, we've been here before! They even discover "the secret buried in the basement." But in spite of that, this film's not bad. For every unintentional laugh (and there were a few) there are some really creepy chills in the form of demons and a super job by Isabel Conner as the ghost of Jodie Defeo—really creepy! It deserves the "R" rating for the slaughter of the Lutz family alone, which we see, as well as some cheap, but genuine, scares and gore. Is the Amityville Horror really a true story? Who cares! But it will be a decent rental when it goes to DVD.
Anacondas: The Hunt for the Blood Orchid
This ones as bad as it gets. I left the theater about half-way through the
film and was ashamed I lasted that long.
Are You Scared? (2006 DVD)
Writer/director Andy Hurst (Single White Female 2, Wild Things 2) brings us a film straight to DVD in the (bloody) vein of the Saw series. In his version, a disfigured man called Shadow Man (TV's Brent Fidler) gathers six young people (played by newcomers and TV-experienced, Carlee Avers, Brad Ashten, Soren Bowie, Erin Consalvi, Alethea Kutscher, Kariem Markbury) in a deserted warehouse as contestants of a TV game show called "Are You Scared?" for which they each had to apply and send a video explaining their worst fear. And you guessed it, Shadow Man will use their fears against them by using devices straight out of a Saw film. Of course, this isn't a bad thing if you enjoyed the Saw films and want to see more. Don't forget that on the trail of Shadow Man must be the stereotyped detective and profiler (Caia Coley). Obviously the film hinges on the tortures, which did have some innovative twists. The acting was acceptable for people whose major lines were "Why are you doing this?" or "I don't want to play any more." But in the end, in spite of the clichés, the few twists and unexpected happenings, along with the graphic (but tamed) violence make this a worthy rental.
Atlantis: The Lost Empire
Disney's state-of-the-art animation tells a story taking place in 1914
about a search for an ancient city in a "cartoon" with better developed characters
than "Evolution" and a more complex plot than "Tomb Raider." Although pre-schoolers
may find this above them, older kids and adults will be thoroughly entertained.
This one's worth your time and money!
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