The final round of April’s Shitty Poetry, featuring the terrible imaginings of Marge Simon, Melia McClure, Philip Nutman, Yves Meynard, Don Bassingthwaite, Carolyn Clink, Mike Bryant, Barb-Galler Smith, Halli Villegas, Mary Turzillo, and Colleen Anderson!
A dragon momma sits and sings
At night she sings
Do-wah-dee, wah dee-wee,
Dum diddy do.
He came one night to her lair-sit,
And kisses gave her one two three
Saying here am I, your suitor sole,
Though I am but a human be.
She gave birth to a serpent egg
Although it was most homely,
And being small, this tiny one
Was washed away with the laundry,
But it found a new home eventually.
And it came to pass on a summer’s day
When the sun shown bright on every way
A fisherman shot the serpent babe,
Because it was so ugly
And reminded him of politicians.
-Ancient dragon folk song, origins unknown
translated by Marge Simon
Hecate Watches You Make Tea
In the kitchen, you
Brew tansy tea, Hecate's
The goddess stands near,
Her big dog licking your hand -
As if that's helpful.
You wish for a yew:
Tree full of poison arrows.
Hecate aims well.
She'd shoot you clean through -
You wouldn't have to drink the tea,
Feel the blood run down.
I am in love with a Canadian girl
She can't watch horror movies;
We watch ice hockey and the food network;
An Englishman has become a Manitoban.
Life is strange, but so am I, and she would not want me any other way.
I cannot write poetry, but can tell a good story;...