Terrible Advice from Dr. Loveland*

Dearest Tiffany,

I misread your missive and thought for a moment that you were asking if you should sleep with an editor or agent so they’d take a closer look at your boobs. And my answer would have been yes. Because sleeping with someone is a great way to get them to look at your boobs.

Then I realized that you were asking about a book manuscript. After thoughtful consideration, my answer is yes. Yes. You should sleep with as many editors and agents as possible, so as to spread the word about your book. And possibly your boobs as well. Naughty bedroom antics are a sure-fire way to get published.

You shouldn’t sleep with any authors. Authors can’t do anything for you, and they probably want to steal your ideas. Oh, wait. That was your next question. If they do try to steal your ideas, you should probably whack them about the head and neck with your boobs. This might also, incidentally, help you get published.

Thank you for writing!

Yr. humble servant, etc.

Dr. Loveland