Imaginarium 4 Table of Contents Revealed

ChiZine Publications, and co-editors Sandra Kasturi and Jerome Stueart, are thrilled to announce the final Table of Contents for Imaginarium 4: The Best Canadian Speculative Fiction!

IMAGINARIUM 4 Table of Contents



  • Introduction
    Margaret Atwood

  • Bamboozled
    Kelley Armstrong

  • Witch I
    Courtney Bates-Hardy

  • Witch II
    Courney Bates-Hardy

  • The Smut Story
    Greg Bechtel

  • Kafka’s Notebooks
  • Creative Coterie: TEGG and ChiZine Become Spellbound Bedfellows

    FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

    TORONTO—The Ed Greenwood Group (TEGG) and ChiZine Publications (CZP) today reached a creative coterie, a partnership that will see the CZP co-publishers, Sandra Kasturi and Brett Savory, join forces with The Archmage, Mr. Ed Greenwood, to help infuse an extra degree of idiosyncrasy into the new worlds and settings he’s created.

    The Soul Food of My Soul

    by 2014 title holder Mike Bryant

    You fell out of the pretty tree
    and your face hit every branch on the way down
    if creepiness was beauty
    you'd be an evil clown

    Like that one from Poltergeist
    or Tim Curry in the movie "It"
    What I'm trying to say here is,
    you are the opposite of shit

    Although the opposite of shit would be food
    and you are not food
    Even though you nourish my soul
    The way food nourishes my body, which is good

    So it's like you are food for my soul
    You are my life's soul food
    like grits or whatever
    I've never tried grits

    But they can't be as delicious as you
    You are like a big ol' greasy hamburger
    But without calories
    OK, maybe some calories because with no calories I'd be buggered

    What I'm saying is you are delicious
    and you are healthy
    but for real, not like commercials
    where they say something is both delicious and healthy
    but then you try it and it's not.

    The History of Coaxial Cable

    by F.J. Bergmann

    It is a little-known fact that early in the morning
    of science, an attempt was made to use frogs
    to deliver electricity. The nickname “coax-ial,”
    which stuck, given in homage to Aristophanes’
    amphibious chorus: Βρεκεκεκὲξ κοὰξ κοάξ
    After all the forays into galvanism, it was clear
    that the tissue itself would allow the flow
    of then-unknown electrons. Toads’ warty skins
    made poor contact; tadpoles adhered better,
    but frogs could grasp each others’ bodies
    with their minute hands, forming an animate
    daisy chain of flow, to coax the current along.

    Evolution No. 9

    by G.J.C. McKitrick

    Well, I listen to the physicists
    They study up the way things are
    With radio electric telescopes
    They watch the movements of the stars
    Well, they measure up the galaxies
    And read them like a code
    They say several billion years ago
    Something did explode

    They say they’ve got the proof now
    That God had got to go
    Well, who banged the big bang baby?
    That’s what I want to know.

    Well, I listen to biologists
    They study animals so well
    They keep peeling back the layers
    To see if they can tell
    Just how life sort of happened
    In some primordial stew
    It started with the big bang
    And ended with me and you

    They say they’ve got the proof now
    That God has got to go
    Well, who banged the big bang baby?
    That’s what I want to know.

    Well, I listen to the atheists
    They’ve got it all worked through
    That God has never been here
    There’s only me and you
    We’re part of evolution
    We’re part of the big explode
    What blew up and where it came from
    They don’t profess to know

    They say they’ve got the proof now
    That God had got to go
    Well, who banged the big bang baby?
    That’s what I want to know.

    Shitty Poetry Month Round Two Voting

    The winner of round two is "Oh the Coding We Shall Do" by Fiona Plunkett, and it will go forward to compete against the next weeks' champions.
    Oh the Coding We Shall Do by Fiona Plunkett
    83% (24 votes)
    On contemplating the remains of hope and Ferdinand by Erik Buchanan
    10% (3 votes)
    Clickhole Configure by Simon McNeil
    7% (2 votes)
    Untitled by Colleen Anderson
    0% (0 votes)
    Murderer by Ben Peek
    0% (0 votes)
    Total votes: 29

    (untitled)

    My poem it entered the fray
    and should have won the day
    but it was like a piece of broken glass
    it tasted more of ass
    and so I have to work for pay

    by Colleen Anderson

    Murderer

    by Ben Peek

    if you’d just written a monograph on the seven habits of highly effective butterflies I might love you.

    if you just needed to find a press to bind it and print it in a limited edition of 300, I might sleep with you

    but the Royal Society of Naturalists was ignoring your newfound scientific discoveries, and you did neither.

    On contemplating the remains of hope and Ferdinand

    by Erik Buchanan

    There was a crunch! and Earnest kicked the bucket.

    They had not meant to cause harm,
    They didn’t go out for gold or for silver
    They just wanted to go past the berm
    To have of just a taste of life; a sliver.

    There was a squish! and Liana was pushing up daisies.

    They thought it would be fun, to travel through
    The woods. They did not expect to see an angel,
    But birds and plants, trees, bugs and animals, though
    They hoped not in thorns to tangle.

    There was a crack! and Sam bought the farm.

    They came across a little beast that in a hollow did lie.
    They thought to be friendly and feed it a flower bulb,
    But it was carnivorous, and brought calamity
    When its mother caught them playing with her cub.

    There was a squelch! and Eustacia bit the dust.

    At noon the earth was red with blood.
    By seven o’clock, the sky above was orange,
    At eleven the stench of evil was in the wood,
    As the creature kept on with goring.

    There was a crash! and Herbert went belly up.

    They searched for the travellers many a day
    They searched many a month
    And when they found them, the poor search party
    Saw only bloody bits of bone and froth.

    Ferdinand died of grief, when he saw Eustacia.

    Clickhole

    by Simon McNeil

    Upon my browser I doth see
    Kittens staring back at me
    Some are grumpy, others not
    And raptors caught in pose of thought

    And puppies, oh the puppies
    Much cute, so meme and wow, but please
    Too long have I suffered as I look
    On memes, so turn I to face of book

    An endless crawl of link and spam
    A status update, food-porn, thank you ma’am
    Buy my book, be my friend, read my blog they cry
    An endless succession of eye-for-eye

    Mutual self-marketing and that is just
    The bookish ones, not those who must
    Share opinions most unsolicited
    On politics, every topic list-it-ed

    Again puppies do appear, these ones sad
    Oh no, I fear the net collapsing into spinning void
    Of memes, book talk, authors, and the mad
    And so I close my laptop screen, and think on how I was annoyed

    Oh the Coding We Shall Do

    by Fiona Plunkett

    Would you, should you, code responsive design?
    You surely must, or some might whine.
    Devices now are of many size,
    and so the site must be quite wise.
    Mobile users see a tiny screen,
    instead of wide, longer must be seen.
    Many challenges there surely be,
    like making sure that all can see.
    Mobile users like to zoom,
    and that makes a coder’s head kaboom.
    Making pages fit to scale,
    will unerringly make a coder wail.
    The breakpoints needed for a media query,
    can surely make a coder weary.
    If these challenges run amok,
    any coder will yell: What. The. F$%k?

    Shitty Poetry Month Round One Voting

    The winner of round one is "All-Staff" by Geoff Gander, and it will go forward to compete against the next weeks' champions.
    All-Staff By Geoff Gander
    42% (18 votes)
    Sunlight Under the Snarwunkles by Karl Johanson
    12% (5 votes)
    The Foolish Ark By J. Y. T. Kennedy
    35% (15 votes)
    The Vampire's Soliloquy by James Dorr
    9% (4 votes)
    Nature Poems by Graeme Tennant
    2% (1 vote)
    Total votes: 43

    Nature Poems

    by Graeme Tennant

    Poems about nature
    always
    have mountains, lakes
    and
    tree's in them
    The kind of things
    that most people
    only see on television
    and
    haven't had the chance to destroy

    The Vampire's Soliloquy

    by James Dorr

    To bite or not to bite, that was her choice,
    whether it was better that she take
    this man to be her date, or meal, to trade
    the promise of a night's roll in the hay
    for, metaphorically, her beau served in
    a roll, her dinner on a plate, the choice
    was hers. Slice, slice, damned bread! In other words
    to see him as fast food, a nip in throat
    or wrist, to bring his blood to well forth free
    in bubbling redness, lap with tongue life's ebb,
    or use that tongue instead to explore his,
    to carry her seduction to its end
    in bed or coffin. But might then his fear
    see him unmanned, for her love's labor lost,
    the night hours wasted and, next day, to sleep,
    perchance to dream of emptied stomach's plight?
    Aye, there's the nub, the hesitation's fault
    when Nature should, within her, take the fore,
    belie sweet words, sweet thoughts, take care instead
    of business, do those things a vampire must
    despite his protestations of love, lust,
    her own enticements, for should not her teeth
    by any other name still be as sharp?

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